068 - No Hit Wonder

Creatively bankrupt but craving the fame, wealth and accolades that come with recognition as an artistic genius? Get in line and don’t hold your breath, there’s hordes of talentless hacks and even those who are good mostly languish in mediocre obscurity. What’s that? You’re willing to step over someone's dead body for it? Well, okay then…

Ritual: No Hit Wonder

Cost: 1 significant charge.

Ritual Action: You must never have successfully sold any art you’ve made for profit. Giving it away as a present is fine as is trading it for favours. Selling at a loss or breaking even barely toes the line but doesn’t seem to count either.

Take your biggest idea, that white whale of yours that you’ve never been able to put to canvas or film or whatever medium’s your poison, and work on preparatory materials for it. Write an outline or make some sketches or do some storyboarding about it. They won’t be good enough, they never are. Don’t show them to anyone.

Befriend and form a relationship (mentor, guru or favourite in game terms, build up a minimum 40% value for the ritual to work) with someone who has some measure of the kind of artistic success that you desire. They don’t need to have made millions, but a past or present commercial relationship with art is a must. They need to die in a way that leaves the body intact. You can't kill them or have someone else do it for you.

Using genuine ancient Egyptian mummification tools (you only really need the brain hook and an embalmer’s knife, just make sure they aren’t replicas) remove the brain and all of the internal organs except the heart. Dispose of the organs however you wish. Stuff the chest cavity with the preparatory materials you made for your magnum opus. Bury or hide the body, don’t damage it or let anyone else see it. If it works people will start talking about this sublime and visionary work of yours as though you actually created it.

Effect: People have heard of you and are willing to do things for you. You can get preferential treatment, lines of credit and exclusive opportunities out of it. Gain a +30% shift to Status rolls in situations relevant to your fame as an artist, based solely on the reputation of the creative work that you never actually made. People will claim to have read, heard or seen it to impress you and others. Critiques and reviews will emerge. These people are all lying. They might tell themselves they aren’t or that they need to feign recognition to avoid a faux pas. Don’t worry, no one will ever talk to each other about that part.

There are two other effects. First, any roll you make to produce art is now automatically flip-flopped to the worst possible result. Second, if the body is ever discovered your fame no longer magickally precedes you. All the reviews and past conversations still happened but now they only carry the weight that some half remembered, irrelevant curiosity does. That’s probably the least of your problems.